11/03/2009

United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood

CHICAGO—In its ongoing effort to cut transportation costs and boost profits, United Airlines announced Tuesday that it was exploring the feasibility of herding them into planes and stacking them like cordwood from floor to ceiling.
Enlarge Image United Airlines

In-flight amenities will still include the breathable pressurized air United is known for.

"Research shows that we lose millions of dollars each month by having them all sit upright in individual seats for the duration of the flight," said CEO Glenn F. Tilton, speaking to reporters at United Airlines' corporate headquarters. "However, if we were to remove these seats, we could just sort of stack them all in there, one by one, as they file into the plane."

"If a 747's maximum takeoff weight is 875,000 pounds, then we should be packing that plane with 875,000 pounds," Tilton added.

According to a press release, the company estimates that the new policy of simply arranging them in a towering mound will allow it to sell approximately 20 times more tickets per flight. In addition, executives claimed they would be able to eliminate the unnecessary cost of in-flight magazines, chairs, seat belts, blankets, bathrooms, headphones, and oxygen masks.

United officials said they conducted a test run in September during which they sent a flight from San Francisco to Denver and really jammed them all in there as hard as they could. Analysts found that 98 percent of them arrived safely at the correct destination, and of those who were lost or damaged, nearly all were eventually located.
Enlarge Image Airlines Loading

A TSA officer loads in the tall stock for a routine explosives scan.

Engineers at the airline confirmed they are continuing to experiment with stacking patterns and ways to organize them in the cabin and cargo hold, putting an emphasis on minimizing wasted space and maximizing the stability of piles so that they do not fall over.

"After much trial and error, we've found the most efficient way to stack them is to start with a base of large ones, then put down a layer of medium ones, then fill up all the holes with the smaller ones," operations manager Gary Brown said. "The really tiny ones are great for cramming up in the corners."

Brown said engineers have also explored the advantages of different loading procedures, such as driving them down the aisle like cattle, or just putting them on their sides and rolling them in. Researchers eventually concluded that the most efficient system is to wheel them out to the tarmac on luggage carts so baggage handlers can just grab them and chuck them onto conveyor belts.

Sources confirmed that early on in the trials, engineers abandoned the so-called "criss-cross" stacking method—in which each new level of them is arranged perpendicular to the previous one—as the resulting piles were not as densely packed as possible. The research also determined that bundling four or five of them together and securing them with straps or duct tape is far too time-consuming and cost-prohibitive.

"You can't just dump them in there any which way," Brown said. "The delicate ones are liable to break, and if you're not careful, they start to sway, and pretty soon the whole mess comes tumbling down."

Added Brown, "On longer flights we really want to make sure there's no room for them to move around at all."

According to senior vice president Alexandria Marren, the new loading procedure is expected to greatly reduce boarding times, and the check-in process will be streamlined as the airline takes up labeling them with special barcodes for quick electronic scanning. United also plans to introduce several new in-flight amenities, including a sprinkler system that will cool them off every 30 minutes and grated floors through which the waste products can drain.

"On top of everything else, this is going to create a lot of new employment opportunities," Marren said of the company's modernization and efficiency efforts. "For instance, we're going to need energetic go-getters who are handy with a shovel and a bucket of peanuts. And we'll also be on the lookout for talented professionals with previous experience operating high-voltage livestock prodding equipment."

Acknowledging concerns that some of them suffer from a fear of flying, the airline announced that it will soon begin forcibly tranquilizing all of them upon arrival at the check-in gate and attaching a small $45 sedation surcharge

Mark McGwire To Teach Cardinal Hitters At What Point In Swing To Evade Congressional Questioning


T. LOUIS—After being named hitting coach by Cardinals manager Tony La Russa, Mark McGwire told reporters Monday that he is eager to get back in the batting cage and work with the team's hitters on the fundamentals of avoiding direct questioning from Congress during committee hearings on steroid abuse. "When you get down to it, it's just hands back, quick to the ball, and then right when you are about to shift your weight, have a working knowledge of the Fifth Amendment so as not to incriminate yourself in front of a panel of elected officials," said McGwire, who in the past has informally helped Cardinals Skip Schumaker and Chris Duncan with swing tips, including one in which you choke up a quarter inch to make certain you cloud the truth. "I'm not going to impose my style of squirming and smoke-screening on their batting stances, though. Every individual player needs to figure out how best to keep his left shoulder behind the ball in order to eventually make his deflected answers that much more precise." When asked about his history with performance-enhancing drugs, McGwire patiently kept his hands back and delivered a short, powerful swing to the reporter's face.

Teeth Whitening Options

There are a lot of teeth whitening procedures that are available now in the market. These would give you a lot of options and allow you to whiten your teeth even right at your own home or your trusted professional dentist. You are somehow bound to get muddled with so many options in the dental industry. In order to help you get out of this dilemma, we will take you through the best options available, so you can decide which option you can use in a smooth and fast way.

Professional Dentists

When you think of whitening your teeth, the very first option that comes into mind is to got to a professional dentist. Let us now take a feasibility if you will take this option. Your dentist will normally if you will take this option. Your dentist will normally apply carbamide peroxide solution (typically in a gel form), this will take approximately 15 minutes. After that he will clean the area to check the progress of the teeth whitening process. In most cases, patients will have to undergo a 15-20 minute session for 3 to 4 times a month, to achieve the desired level of teeth whiteness. If the stain or discoloration is stubborn, there is a tendency that you may have to schedule a return visit with your dentist, in order for him to finish the job. If you think it over, going to a professional dentist for teeth whitening treatment, is not a very good option as it will make you spend a lot of your time as well as money.

Natural Teeth Whitening Products

If you want to whiten your teeth in a natural way, there are many options available that you can use right in your own home. Some of these teeth whitening options home remedies are dangerous to your teeth, while there are also available products that are may be worth of your time and money. Some of the options that you can make use of to naturally whiten your teeth are lemon juice, vegetables, wood ash, strawberries, baking soda and carbamide peroxide. Although these options do not cost so much or you have to pay negligible amount to use the options, you cannot predict the exact amount of time that it would take for these options to naturally whiten your teeth up to your expectations.

Cleansing Strips

Another teeth whitening options that you can use is the cleansing strips. A cleansing strip uses a plastic brace that is filled with a liquid adhesive, which is then filled into the hilt and then inserted on top of the tooth. After that, the brace needs to be placed on top of the tooth for several hours, long and muddily procedures used while using cleansing strips to whiten your teeth make it an undesirable option.

Cleansing Gel

The next option to choose is the cleansing gel. Gels contain whitening agents which ate also know as oxidising agents. Hydrogen peroxide, when used as a means of cleaning your teeth of stains and bacterial pigments, helps you whiten the hue of the teeth stain. This process of teeth whitening takes a very long period of time to show its effect on your teeth. There is no guarantee that your teeth would be cleansed in the most appropriate manner.

Home-based Teeth Whitening Kits

Next on the list comes the home-based teeth whitening kits, which you can get from your dentist. Upon checking your teeth and gums, your dentist prescribes a take-home kit through which, you can keep stains and bacterial pigments off your teeth. The peroxide solution in the kit is less potent than the concentration used during an in-office method. Its application takes a very long period of time, thereby, making it a not-so-sought-after option

Whiten Teeth Through Home Teeth Whitening Kits

Teeth whitening solutions is considered as an essential means of cleansing your stained or discolored teeth. Home teeth whitening procedures are always preferred by people from all walks of life. There are few things you need to keep in mind if you want to get the desired result in using home teeth whitening solutions. Discussed below are some tips you must follow if you want to whiten your teeth in just a few minutes.

Avoid Using Whitening Strips

One of the reasons why some people take a lot of time while trying to whiten their teeth at home is because, they choose to remain with slow working products. Whitening strips have always been used to whiten teeth from home but it is not very reliable. Not only it is time consuming, you also almost never get your desired result. There have been numerous complaints from users of whitening strips, stating that their stained or discolored teeth remained stained, despite having worn the whitening strips for several hours. The main reason why this is happening, it’s because whitening strips are not that effective. Owing to their mass production, they can never avoid glitch as far as the quality of whitening strips are concerned. So, you need to avoid using whitening strips if you want to whiten your teeth quickly.

Never Use Whitening Gels

Whitening gels would never be the perfect choice if the time you have in whitening your teeth is just a few minutes. One of the reasons while whitening gels are considered as ineffective is because they need to be used along with a plastic brace. You need to first put the gel inside the brace and then attach the brace to your teeth. Normally braces, need to be attached for as long as a few hours to show their desired effect. The process is very time consuming and it is quite uncomfortable for first time users. Even if you’re not a first timer user of whitening gels, you would not want to waste your time while trying to whiten your teeth using a whitening gel.

Effectiveness of Cleansing Swabs

Nowadays, the most effective solution or method to whiten your teeth, are the cleansing swabs. They are easily available in the internet and can be applied with ease. Cleansing swabs have become popular because of their ability to cleanse and polish your stained or discolored teeth in just a matter of seconds. The overall application procedure is also very simple. All you have to do is dip the swabs inside a jar of whitening powder and polish your teeth very lightly. Cleansing swabs application procedure is very simple and does not involve a lot of time. The stain would be removed automatically and your teeth would sparkle like new within seconds of the application.

You would wonder what makes these cleansing swabs very special. One of the main reasons, why you should use cleansing swab as teeth whitening solution, because of its advantage of polishing your teeth within seconds. These cleansing swabs are filled with a special kind of liquid, which when dipped inside a jar of polishing powder, has the ability to absorb just the right amount of powder from the jar. Thereafter, you simply need to apply the cleansing swab and your teeth would begin to whiten.